Certainty in God, Uncertainty in Life

This is probably super illegal, but we're all gonna have to deal with it because this is so good.


This from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

April 29

"Our natural inclination is to be so precise— trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next— that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, “Well, what if I were in that circumstance?” We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God — it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, “. . . unless you . . . become as little children . . .” (Matthew 18:3 ). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1 ), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in— but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him."

1 John 3:2 "Beloved, we are God's children now and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is."

I don't want to just believe my beliefs about Him. I do feel "limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled". It's like I know they're not, but I don't live like I know that. I constantly try to figure out what God's next move is. I hear testimonies and see what God did in their lives and wonder how He's going to do the same exact thing in my life. I try to plan out God's next strategic move for me. It's funny that I even think that I'm a better planner than God. Maybe I do believe He's a better planner, but I want to know what He's doing and when. I want to be in control. But I've already proven to myself that I can't control anything. I can't control my emotions, struggles with sin, or even my thoughts alone. I can't plan anything because I don't have control over myself. I don't know His plan so it scares me when I don't know what's going on. He has shown me countless times, without me knowing it, that He has control. I think I believe that He has the control and I know He works everything out for the good of those who love Him, but it's the process that's hard for me. I'm a destination/goal person. I want to reach the goal and then say good job everyone let's go home. Apparently life is not like that. That's a fun one to learn–that I'm going to be in a process my entire life. I guess it seems weird that I'm all of a sudden figuring this out, but I have a feeling that I'm going to take a long time for me to accept that....great! More processing! So if God outplans me all the time and His ideas are so much better for me than mine are, why is it so hard to trust that it's okay and actually good to be uncertain?

Thank you for outplanning me. Thank you for being so intelligent that there is no way I could figure out your ways. Thank you for Your grace and that You remain patient with me as I try to figure out (there I go again) how to stop trying to figure out. Help me to come to terms with reality–that I don's know Your ways and have control. You have the control Father. Please continue to give me a bigger view of You and a smaller view of myself. Thank you for showing me new things every day and giving me grace in my attempt to understand You. Thank you that You are too big to understand. That's comforting. Thank you for knowing what's best for me and for Your people.

We just wanna love you

I feel like I'm starting over. I've been given a second chance at this whole loving Jesus thing and I get to start from scratch. I'm learning the fundamental truths about loving Jesus firsthand, not just from a Bible study or somebody telling me about it. I am very grateful for my background in the church, but it is amazing to see God working in my life and showing me things that I've heard a thousand times, but never really experienced. I'm learning to love by God's personal teaching, not from another person just telling me what it means to love. I'm getting understand a tiny part of God's love for me, His willingness to personally interact with me to show me about Himself.

I just wanna love You. I don't really know how, but thank you for teaching me. And thank you for humbling me. Please don't stop.

I am not my own

His grace covers more than I could imagine. His blood paid for the people who are sinning right now. His blood covers the people who are blinded by sin and weathered from years of trying to do things their own way. He showed and is showing His grace to people who have fallen away from their focus and purpose. The power of the cross is greater than I could ever think. What power to be able to completely save a person from death and lead them to life.

Why do I assume that God cannot save His own people? Why don't I think that the power of His death and resurrection is enough to give Him my complete trust? Why do I think that He has somehow just forgotten about the church as a whole and needs me to fix everything? Why do I think that I have more power to change the church than He does? Do I seriously think God has forgotten or is choosing to not act or help the church refocus? Am I really that doubtful that God will take care of others like He has for me? Am I so shallow that I feel that if I don't see results immediately, I get discouraged and give up on the church? Am I such a control freak that if I'm not directly involved in any changes that go on in the church as a whole, I am disappointed that God's not using me? Seriously Danica?


I am not in charge of fixing everything.

I do not have to be involved in every part of everything.

I am not solely responsible for the fate of the church.

God will not abandon His church.

God gives wisdom to the church.

The Holy Spirit leads church leaders.


God is so much bigger than I think He is. He has watched His people go from loving Him to hating Him to worshiping Him and back to ignoring Him over and over again throughout history. God is not surprised when people lose focus on Him. He's seen it before and knows that we are naturally like distracted children, who turn to focus on anything new and shiny. God's grace is over that. He knows that we are but dust. He knows my passions, desires, and habits more than I do. He loves those in me because He made them. He is in the process of turning those wants and desires in my life toward Him. He is pulling me closer to Him. He is returning to me as I return to Him. He is returning to His church as they return to Him. He is drawing them near to Himself and working in people's hearts to return to their first love. He is doing that as He wills. He loves His church and promises to work for the good of those who love Him. Truly following Christ comes from the Holy Spirit's work in one's life. Nothing I say can save anyone. That's not saying that we do not have influence and shouldn't be involved in people's lives, but redemption is a work from Jesus. God is in charge. God is actively pursuing His children and is directly involved in His church, even when I don't necessarily see Him. It is not my job to see or supervise God's work. God works so much more intricately than I think. He is constantly at work within His people. We are His people. He will not abandon us. We are not our own. I am not my own. He has given me life now I live my life for Him. I live my life to seek Him first. He will take care of His church.


"...You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God..."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20


I am not my own. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me so much and forgiving me for thinking that I could help the church alone. Thank you for showing me that You are the One in charge of the Sun rising and setting everyday, and that You are the One who keeps the animals fed and the trees growing, and that You maintain life on this planet everyday. Thank you for showing me Your power in my life. I want a bigger view of You in my life and a smaller view of myself. I don't want to be so zoomed in on my own problems and what I perceive as things that need to be changed. You are working within us to will and to work for Your pleasure. I trust You in that. I am not my own. Thank you for choosing me to be Yours.

**Note: This is, as the subtitle of my blog says, just me spilling out my thoughts. I love when people read them, but please consider that this is just what's going on in my head. It's not necessarily right, it's just me processing what I'm learning or trying to make sense of. I would love comments if you have them, but please don't think I'm directing this at anyone or any church. I am talking about the church as a whole.**

Tim Hughes - God Of Justice

God of Justice, Saviour to all
Came to rescue the weak and the poor
Chose to serve and not be served

Jesus, You have called us
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go

To act justly everyday
Loving mercy in everyway
Walking humbly before You God

You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give

Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out
Fill us up and send us out Lord

Running

I hate running more than anything on the planet.

Just so everybody knows it.

Yesterday, after my run (Romans 7:19), I was walking back feeling refreshed and in a better mood and it occurred to me that my body was made to run. God created our bodies to move and He gave them the ability to run, and by choosing not to exercise that gift because of laziness, I am not honoring God with my body. I worship by using my body for what it was created to do.

Exercise has been a release for me. I don't have to think. My mind just shuts down for a while and I can let my body just move on its own (or with the help of a moving belt underneath).


The wind blows for You
the grass is green for You
the clouds move for You
the earth spins for You
my body moves for You
my mind thinks for You.

I've never been more sure of this than now.

Why don't we love? Why do we see people suffering and even while we have the capacity to help or be of comfort, we don't? Even when we see people walking around in pain everywhere? Why don't we come along side them and care for them through their troubles? Why do we allow people to commit suicide or lose hope in life itself? Why do we let wounds grow worse instead of heal? Why don't we, with all our Bible study and years of church going, simply be an ear to listen to people who are suffering in their own heads? Why don't we, with all our counseling experience and leadership training, sit down with people who have no hope in life? Why don't we, with all the service projects we've done and hours of volunteering we've logged, even smile at the person who has nothing? Why do we meet together in our huge auditoriums and fancy buildings while people sleep on the streets in the cold? Why do we complain about worship styles and the decorating of the building when people haven't heard about the reason we meet in the first place? Why are we okay with people dying alone with no hope at all while we sit in our comfy chairs talking about how to manage our finances–the same finances that we use to make us more comfortable? Why are we okay with letting our world go down in flames while we protect our wallets with our lives? Why do we let people live their lives in search for empty glory when we're the ones who are supposed to be living our lives in light of the hope we've been given? Have we forgotten? Have we forgotten this grace that we've been given? The grace that saved us from death? Has it really had so little impact on our lives that we don't share the story of our redemption? Then why does it even matter? Why even pretend then? Why do we let the passion of this amazing grace we've been given die out in our hearts and turn into robots who come to church in hopes of a short sermon and then leave to go back to our unchanged lives? Do you think there is a small hope that maybe someday we will feel God's presence like we did when we first chose to follow Him? Do we still desire God or are we past that point? Have we forgotten how to love Him? Have we resorted to church attendance and number of Bible studies to show that we have it all together? Do we really have it all together? Where's the brokenness in our lives? Where's the compassion? Where's the love? How come all that nonbelievers say about the church is that we're hypocritical, judgmental, old fashioned, unloving, fake people who could care less about anyone else? Is there truth to that? What have we done to get ourselves here–a place where the world hates us because of our actions or lack thereof? Why don't we love those who are trapped in an endless cycle of sin and its consequences? Why don't we even see that people are hurting and want God more than anything? Why don't we spend even a minute of our time out of our lives to be what we were made to be? Are the things that take up our time so important that we can watch people die when we have the knowledge of the only thing that will save them? Are we that heartless? Do our lives mean so much to us that we can't lose anything for the gain of others? Why are we so consumed with ourselves and our needs that we are blinded to the needs of others? Why does the world sometimes do a better job of taking care of the homeless, the poor, the sick, and the weak? Why don't we move when the same Spirit we ask to fill us prompts us to care for the needy? Why do we refuse the opportunity to do good? Why aren't we sensitive to the needs of others? Why have we allowed ourselves to be so self-absorbed that we are completely ignorant and blinded to the brokenhearted people all around us?

I'm sorry. I do not love as You have loved me. You have saved me, but I act as if I'm too busy to love Your children and show them the kindness You have shown me. I do not deserve to be loved that way You love me. I've never been more sure of this than now. Thank you for loving me and never stopping. Thank you for Your grace and that You have not given up on me and You have not given up on Your people.

"In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loves us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4:9-11

A space for clarity

Figured if I was gonna be excited about something I'd share it. I'll share my thoughts, favorite music, and links here to anyone who cares to listen or read.

to start things off....a new favorite band

Ambulance by Eisley