Wait child

When am I ready? As I said last post, I feel like a child. Well right now I really feel like a child because I'm getting really excited and eager to go do something crazy for the Lord, but there are so many questions and conflicting ideas in my head about it. So let me try to process... you're welcome to join me if you'd like. Just a fair warning– this is gonna be messy.

I am called to serve the Lord which quite possibly means in another country. He has given me a passion for culture and learning about different countries. I have a strong desire to explore the world, and lately I have been thinking a lot about India. God has called His children to go to the ends of the earth and proclaim His name. I want to do that. I want to help meet people's needs both spiritually and physically. I want to come to people and share the love of Christ with them, help them find a job, give them food, help them build a church, disciple them, watch their kids for them, invest in their lives.

But.... I'm only 19 years old. I've only just recently started to really follow God with every part of me. Am I ready? Shouldn't I wait until I have a little more experience in this whole following God completely thing? I'm too weak. I couldn't handle it.

But... God's ways are not my ways. He knows when is best. And when will I ever been completely ready anyways? And what better time to go than now in college? Who says I can't go? Who says I shouldn't even consider praying about it and possibly pursuing it? Who says God can't use me? Who says God wont use me?

But... I feel like I'm just an excited kid who has no idea what she's getting herself into. I'm just all excited about doing something for God, but I'm gonna feel like I got hit by a truck when reality hits.

But... If I don't do something now, I'm just gonna keep telling myself that I'm not ready and never actually do anything. What a better time than this? I don't want to just wait until I'm so critical that I'll never do anything. God has put this in my life and these desires in my heart for a purpose.

But... Maybe God doesn't want to use me in the mission field. Maybe He has me here. Maybe this is an exercise in self-control and listening to God.

Exactly, Danica.

Oh...

I will wait. I will seek God. I will eagerly anticipate His voice.

I will wait for You. Please be blatantly obvious with me because I'm not very good at picking up subtle cues. Bring clarity and rest to my mind. I want to follow You and do what You want me to do, but please help me not to worship what You'll have me do rather than worship You. I want to seek You and then obey out of that, not the other way around. But I will obey You. You are faithful. "Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work." 2 Timothy 2:21. God You have saved me from what is dishonorable and I am set apart as holy. Use me Lord. Send me Lord!
Your kingdom come. Your will be done.